Mirror of My Thoughts

What are Law and Science thinking?

2008-09-24T21:43:00.011+05:30

She's only a month old, and already her fate is tied in legal knots and international complications. Her biological parents are Japanese and birth mother (surrogated) is Indian. The child was born on July 2008 in Gujarat amidst the fear of bomb blasts. But a month before that, mother of the baby divorced her husband and disowned the child. Her father is keen to take the girl back home to Tokyo, but a law enacted 120 years ago is in the way which states a single father cannot adopt a girl child. Grandmother came to the rescue but she can’t take the baby out of the country because of adoption law.

Story goes like this - A Japanese couple desperate for child signed an agreement of surrogacy with well known gynecologist in Ahmedabad in November 2007. A woman from Ahmedabad signed an agreement to serve as the surrogate mother. The fertilization process of wife’s eggs with husband's sperm was completed in Tokyo and the embryo was brought to Ahmedabad. The embryo transfer was done in an Ahmedabad hospital in the presence of the Japanese couple. After birth, the surrogate mother stuck to the terms of the contract and left the baby and went home.

If the baby, whose nationality is Indian, doesn't get an Indian passport after the adoption process is completed, she may become the country's first surrogate-orphan, in other words an unwanted expensive child.

Look at that innocent face of the baby. Is she aware of the fact that science has created a complex world for her? What is her identity? Indian? Japanese? Who is her mother? The woman whose egg was used to give her life or the woman who nurtured her in her womb for 9 months?

Law stepped in to resolve the complexity but it worsened the situation as law does not allow a single father to adopt a girl child.Her granny came forward to take care of her but for how long can she stay in India to be with the baby? Who is responsible for this situation? A couple who desired to have a child and then deserted her? A surrogated mother who rented her womb for money? Or a doctor who wanted to show her talent and become famous? Or is it advanced science? Or is it a law which allowed (an unlawful) practice in the first place? What is the root cause of this complexity?

God created a beautiful phenomenon called birth. Are humans using it or abusing it? I firmly believed that there was a reason behind me why I was born as a female. God had certain plans for me and He left it on me to realize them. God has such reasons for having each one of you on earth as what you are. Why do you have to defy His creation? What do you want to show the world?

Beatie grew up in Hawaii as a girl but later legally changed to a male identity, took hormone shots and had his (her?) breasts surgically removed. Science helped Beatie to become a man, Thomas Beatie, but it could not change the very essence of Beatie’s being a woman. His wife Nancy was unable to bear children. Beatie became pregnant using donated sperm and artificial insemination. Nancy inseminated him with a syringe using sperm purchased from a bank and he became pregnant and gave birth to a girl in June 2008. Law again played a part of God, allowing Beatie who was a a man to become a woman.

When Nikita and Harsh Mehta’s 24-week fetus was diagnosed with a congenital heart problem they immediately rushed to court to seek permission to abort the pregnancy. The court dismissed the petition on the grounds that law does not permit abortion for fetus older than 20 weeks.

Mr. Law, I hope you are aware that fetus doesn’t have to wait for 20 weeks to get a life; there is a life in fetus from as early as four weeks. Then how can you dictate what is right for that life? Are you playing a part of God? Or you think you are a messenger of God?

I wish Nikita and Harsh would have believed in God and time. God knows what is best for his kids. Two weeks after the verdict, Nikita went through a painful ‘NATURAL’ miscarriage. God knew that it was not in the best interest of the unborn child.

Law and Science are to help us and not to destroy us. We must remember that nobody can replace God. He is the ultimate power.

Science may create perfect human being but can it induce emotions? Bernann McKinney lost her buddy Booger, a Pit Bull Terrier. She paid $50,000 to get him back. Five clones were born from two surrogate mothers in July 2008 using the dog’s refrigerated ear tissue. Bernann is happy to have her beloved Booger look-alike but she would soon realize that it is not the same pug she loved and missed.

I believe in God and think that there are certain decisions best left to him. Don’t you think human being is intruding the territory of the God? Science, research, discovery, innovation, and technology are to ease human being’s life and not to make it complicated. So is the Law.

What's your take?

Dressing Sense

2008-07-10T12:31:00.037+05:30

Tomorrow is a very important meeting. I must look smart and create a good first impression. So the big question is: What to wear? Saree? Nope, that is too traditional for business meeting. Hmm..Salmar Kameez? But which color? Dark wouldn’t be suitable. May be some pastel color? What about pink? No no….not good. Yellow? Or how about white? That will look elegant. It is a business meeting that will be followed by lunch. So it is better to wear trousers and nice Allen-Solly work-wear.

I am sure some of you must have faced this situation of ‘What to wear for a particular occasion’. Is dressing appropriately very important in everybody’s profession or so to say in life?

There is an unsaid dressing code for each occasion such as marriage, birthday parties, pub parties, business meetings, blind dates, engagement ceremonies and so on….

Think of this. How much time do we waste in thinking what to wear for a particular occasion? Honestly I think I waste a lot of time on what to wear and even after that end up wearing something stupid. Do you think the same? Thank God! There are people like me too. :-)

Dressing sense is very important in our society. In fact one can judge a person by his/her dressing sense. [ Watch new ad of Dhoni where he says' Aajkal kapde dhang ke nahi to ijjat bhi nahi'
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3LvpSTXuSKw ]

One of my friend rejected a suitable, healthy, wealthy and smart guy’s proposal. Reason: He was wearing an un-ironed red shirt with white trousers and white sports shoes. Hmmm…imagine it and you may feel, “Oh my God! People can dress like that!”

In India, most of the politicians are very conscious of their appearance and what they wear. You will mostly find them in white kurtas or white shirts.

We have a few handsome, new generation politicians like Sachin Pilot,Jyotiraditya Scindia, and Rahul Gandhi. But I have never seen any of them in a pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt. They will look cool! Same goes for young women politicians like Supriya Sule and Priyanka Gandhi. They are always in sarees and that too strictly cotton. There is an exception though and that is Priya Dutt. I saw her a few days back on Karan Johar’s chat show. She was looking stunning in simple pyjamas and a fashionable kurta. This may be due to her Bollywood connection. She is daughter of legendary actors late Nargis and Sunil Dutt. Sanjay Dutt is super star who is lovingly known as Munnabhai by his fans.

Let's not talk about glamor world i.e the film industry. Here labels and fashion rules. Well it has to be that way as they get paid to look good and to wear the brand names!

Few days back there was an article by Shobha De in which she criticized Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s dress at Cannes.

"How on earth does Aishwarya manage to do it year after year on red carpet at Cannes? The black gown was passable this time, but Ash obviously forgot to get it pressed before hand. Oh dear...unsightly creases at the world's glam photo op? “

Any search engine will give you ample of results which talks about Aishwarya’s dress. Some comments are

"Disappointed with her dress. She just doesn’t get it, when it comes to dressing at the Cannes”,

"Looks like nobody presented her an iron at her wedding”

"This time, it was not the wrong color or cut, but the failure of her steam iron, that set the style-meter plummeting on day 1, May 15.”

"It had been a different material, perhaps it would not have wrinkled so badly”

"Ever since I saw her picture the creases on the dress were bothering me.”

Man! People have so much time to observe!! That is what makes dressing sense become so important for some people.

US presidential elections are left untouched by this fight over dressing sense. Hillary had to categorically state that she would be wearing pants in the White House if she is elected in November. She believes that wearing pants would make her feel more in control.
But fashion diva Donatella Versace doesn’t agree. She said, "Hillary doesn't need to wear trousers to show she's strong.How on earth trousers relate to power!” Versace wants Hillary Clinton to dump her blobby trousers.The action doesn’t stop here. This statement has given many sites a subject to poll "Should Hillary Clinton ditch the trouser suits?"

Well lets go back to the basics. Think of the time when the first man and woman – Adam and Eve, were created by God. That time they were hardly worried about their dressing sense. Fig leaves were the dressing code. Wish that would have been the case today too. :-) Then nobody would have to face the situation of "What to wear for a particular occasion".

I don’t have great dressing sense and that’s why this blog. Is it worth investing (or may say wasting) time on what to wear? I am not sure of the answer. Are you? Drop your comments.

Childhood Dream

2008-06-02T22:36:00.019+05:30

Scene 1: A kid is cycling around the lake, he feels like taking a leap in the cold water, parents disapproving look stops him from doing what he just so desired.
Scene 2: A young man is fighting with his father, he wants to leave their business, but he remembers his pregnant wife and the realization of his responsibilities stops him from following his dream and setting up business on his own.
Scene 3: A middle aged man wants to buy a luxurious car, he remembers the smiling face of his children and again the realization of his responsibilities stops him from buying the car he so desired.
Scene 4: An old man drives in a car towards the same lake, he leaves all the inhibitions and takes a leap in the cold water – just does what he so desired.
Background voice: How many adjustments have you done for yourself and your loved ones? Now, live your life for yourself.
[View this advertisement http://youtube.com/watch?v=tp691MtquY4]

That advertisement provoked a thought about how many of us really fulfill our wishes or rather live our lives on our own terms. How many of us nurture our childhood dreams? Remember, I am talking about childhood dreams. Are you what you thought you would be when you were a kid?
Just a few days back I came across a very inspirational article about Mr. Sarath Babu – an IIM graduate, now a crorepati and who still lives in a hut with his mother. Today he owns a food unit. When he was a kid he used to sell Idalis in the slums. He always wanted to have a restaurant of his own. When he graduated from IIM, he rejected offers from banks and consulting companies to pursue his childhood dream. Today he just doesn’t have a restaurant but he has a whole food unit of his own that supplies food to many canteens and restaurants in south India. Today he is what he wanted to be. [Get Sarath Babu’s whole story at http://specials.rediff.com/money/2008/apr/29sarath1.htm]

Around 9 years back I used to work in Mumbai and travel by local train. That’s where I met a middle aged lady, very easy going and next door neighbor kinds. We used to meet in the train since we used to travel by the same train every day. We never ran out of topics. There was so much to talk about in that one hour journey. She was working in a nationalized bank for 15 years and her husband was working with the government. She had 2 children. It sounded like the “Perfect” life. When I mentioned that, there was a ‘BUT’ in her tone. It wasn’t so. It was her childhood dream to become a dancer. She could not fulfill her dream. She grew up watching girls dancing in a near by dance school. Her parents didn’t allow her to join the school since for them, dancing was not an art and it definitely was not something to be practiced by girls from respected families. She finished her studies, got married, had 2 kids and there she was sitting next to me – not completely happy even till that day. Though she had a life any body would envy for, she still sometime dreamt of being a dancer, performing stage shows in different cities. May be she wouldn’t have lived as comfortable life as she was living then, but she would have been satisfied and she would have slept well. If not completely happy, atleast she would have been satisfied of having followed her dream.

I am not sure if one should follow childhood dreams or not and how relentlessly one should pursue them. But I would like to know how many of us still have that urge to follow our childhood dream.

During annual performance appraisals, I asked one of my team members a routine question about where he saw himself five years down the line. I was astonished to hear that he wanted to be an assistant movie director working alongside Sankar (For the uninitiated, Sankar is a very successful Tamil movie director). An IT professional wanted to jump to the film industry – which is one of the toughest industries to get into. It was inspiring to hear that he still was keen to pursue his dream. I wish all the success in his childhood dream.

In India or may be all over the world, there is a rosy picture of perfect life or you may say a regular life – during childhood, go to school or do whatever your parents wish you to do, finish your graduation, get that dream job, get married, have kids, take care of them and their education, get them married, take care of grand children and so on…..

There is nothing wrong in living such a regular life. But the question is whether we are doing what we wanted to do during our childhood or are we just following the rules of the society? Is there any space in this society to follow our childhood dreams? Do you want to fulfill your childhood dream? What was your childhood dream? Start thinking about it. There is only one life; don’t just live a regular life. Do what you always wanted to do.

It is hard to succeed but it is worse than never have tried.

All Indians are my brothers and sisters

2008-04-14T10:29:00.012+05:30

That morning was just like any other, I was in my office checking my mails when I suddenly heard a sob from my next cubicle, It my my colleague. I locked my system and went to inquire . She kept repeating "What can I do? I am Tamilian".Is this the reason for her crying, I wondered. I was shocked to hear about her experience earlier on her way to office by office bus. A couple of people stopped the bus, beat the bus driver and took the vehicle keys. They then entered the bus and started shouting slogan in Kannada in support of Hogenakkal Dam. They cursed the Tamilians and asked all Tamilians in the bus to get down and leave the state. Nobody has any guts to reply to them. They kept abusing Tamilians. After around 10 minutes suddenly some policeman appeared from nowhere and instead of arresting the goons he asked the employees to collect money to pay as ransom to the goons and get rid of them. All the guys in the bus who were eduated IT Professionals agreed without any retaliation and collected Rs. 200 and saved their lives.

This incidence made me question the state of my country. What happened to India? What happened to the pledge that we were repeating every day starting from the first day at school? All Indians are my brother and sister.  Did we lose the brotherhood? Instead of fighting against causes like terrorism, we are fighting over water and state boundaries. Earlier it was Hindu-Muslim problem and now it is cross state fights. Who is responsible? Our religion? Our 'sanskar' or our love for state?

I cannot forget my visit to Beijing recently which has left a lasting impression on me. I was walking to the hotel one evening when I saw a group of senior citizens dancing on some music in an open public place. I stopped by to watch them. When I was about to leave, one old lady from the group came up to me, wished me “Ni Hao” (Hello) and holding my hands she offered me to join them in the dance. I tried a few steps with them. Two people from different countries, culture and language communicated through the language of dance. It was an amazing experience. I danced for an hour with the group. I could only meet them twice before I left for India. We had a blast without even knowing each other’s name. This experience made me think of the war between India and China in 1962. If I could get bonded with the Chinese without even talking to them, then how could we fight a war? How could we be enemies? Aren't we human beings first? If there is nothing wrong with the people when people does not want to fight then why Tibet is burning? What are we fighting for? And why? And for whom?

Another incident happened to me few years back when I was traveling to Nagpur from Mumbai Though it was winter time, Mumbai was as usual, a bit warm so I didn't carry any winter wear for my journey. I tried to sleep at night but could not because of sudden drop in the temperature. Finally I slept around 4-4:30AM. Thanks to my alarm, I got up when the train was approaching Nagpur station and to my surprise I found myself wrapped in blanket. I folded it neatly and climbed down to my seat from the upper birth. One person in his 50s asked me, “Beti Tabiyat to thik hain na?” (How is your health child, Hope you are fine). I wasn’t sure why he was asking about my health. I realized when he pointed me to the blanket I was holding.

He told me that when he got up for his Namaj and  found me shivering in the night, he spread one of the extra blankets he had on me. I felt a little embarrassed since I was trying to ignore that guy, and then thanked him. Did he help me because he thought I was a Muslim? Did he think about my religion? Or did he just help a girl who was uncomfortable?. I think it was compassion for other human beings.

I want to know when boundaries do not stop two people from being friends and if religion does not teach you to fight with each other, then why are we fighting? Is India really progressing? Does economic growth, GDP growth, rupee appreciation make India complete? Don't we want to concentrate on the major issues that burn the GDP and making it weak?

We must fight against racism within ourselves and only then will India become powerful. Every human being must protect the freedom of other human being.

Let us pledge once again, “All Indians are my brothers and sisters”.